And the Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, displeased at the Florida recount, withdrew His shield of protection, allowing hurricanes to ravage the Sunshine State without respite during a very important part of the election cycle.
Does that statement make you angry? Now you know how it felt to be a New Yorker after 9/11, told by domestic fundamentalists that pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians and other secular forces invited terrorist attacks against America's symbols of might.
But I'm not here to reopen wounds; rather, I wish to sound a warning.
Religious scholars and Matrix fans alike agree that the main danger faced by humanity is not global warming, AIDS or even terrorism, but rather that the overlords of a universal government will implant microchips in our brains, enslave the human race, harvest our organs and feed upon our children.
This should give bankers pause. On one hand, implanted microchips would increase the cross-sell ratio for financial products. On the other, intracranial innovations would decrease the need for bankers, most of whom would have to relinquish their own autonomy.
The simple answer is to avoid universal governments led by the likes of the U.N. and FIFA. But as a corollary, even as the U.S. disarms its enemies and leads the world to a just peace, we must also protect the Constitution against charismatic leaders with overlord tendencies. The happy balance: a consultative president at the helm of a strong republic with a thriving, open democracy.
Now I don't think Bush would pull a fast one with my kidneys. Au contraire. Yet in our polarized nation, the next election without an incumbent could be a toss-up between an isolationist Charles Lindbergh-type (a la Philip Roth's "The Plot Against America") and a Che Guevara-type. Before that happens, it's up to Congress and the Supreme Court to reverse the recent growth of executive privilege - and they're unlikely to strip W's epaulets. The "checks-and-balances" issue alone justifies support for John Kerry.
Our democratic practices - not our democratic heritage - will keep our republic on the side of the angels.